Jewish(ユダヤ人) jokeは示唆に富んでいるものが実に多い。
長く迫害された民族の歴史と シェークスピアの「ベニスの商人」で描かれた貪欲さ、


25-61 Jewish Sayings
1. Genius is 10% inspiration and 50% capital gains.
2. It is not money, it is the principal and the interest.
3. Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.
4. Don't worry about senility. When it hits you, you won't know it.
5. Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.


25-62 Witty Rabbi
lizabeth, a very attractive young lady, is on a flight from London to Tel Aviv.
She has been worrying a lot ever since they took off and now decides to speak to the man sitting next to her whom she heard addressed by one of the cabincrew as "Rabbi."
"Excuse me Rabbi," she says to him, "would you mind if I ask you for a very big favor?"
"Of course not," he replies, "but I can't guarantee I'll be able to help. What is this favor?"
"Well rabbi, my mother lives in Tel Aviv and tomorrow is her 60th birthday. I bought her an expensive hair dryer in London before I left. It's in the overhead locker above us and it's unopened. But unfortunately, it's well over the Customs' limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it from me. Is there any way you could carry the hairdryer through customs for me? Maybe you could put it in your hand luggage. With you being a Rabbi, no one in Customs would question you."
"I would love to help you," replies the Rabbi, but I must warn you, I will not lie."
"Thank you Rabbi," she says.

 When they get to Customs, she lets the Rabbi go first.
The official looks at his passport and says to him, "Do you have anything to declare, Rabbi?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I must admit that I have nothing to declare."
This was such a strange answer to receive from a Rabbi that the official has to ask him a further question.
"So what, if anything, do you have to declare below your waist, Rabbi?"
"I have a marvelous instrument," replies the Rabbi, "that was designed to be used on a woman, but which is unfortunately unused so far."
"That's very funny Rabbi," says the official laughing out loud, "You may now go through. Next," he calls out.



25-63 Please help me
enny Levy is on holiday in Israel and is staying at a 7 star Hotel.
On his second morning, his bedroom phone rings.
Benny picks it up and the hotel operator says to him, "Mr Levy, I have a Melvyn Elstein on the line who says he's your brother-in-law. He wants to talk to you urgently."
"So put him through," says Benny.
"Benny, I need your help," cries Melvyn.
"I'm in trouble with the taxoffice. They say I owe them £10,000 and if I don't pay them by the end of the day, they will sue me. But I don't currently have enough money in my bank at this moment. Could you please send them £8,000 on my behalf straight away?"
"I can't hear you Melvyn," says Benny, "I think something must be wrong with thehotel phone."
"Benny," shouts Melvyn, "I desperately need you to send me £8,000 right now."
"I'm sorry Melvyn," says Benny, "I still can't hear you."
"But Mr Levy," interrupts the hotel operator, "I can very clearly hear Mr Elstein."
"Then why don't you help Mr Elstein and you send him the £8,000?"


25-64 Foreskin
he IRS agent thought he would have some fun with the Rabbi.
He asked, "What do you do with the candle drippings?"
The Rabbi responded, "We send them to the candle factory and every so often they send us a free candle."
IRS asked, "What do you do with the crumbs from your table?"
The Rabbi said, "We send them to the Matzo Factory and every so often that they send us a free Matzo ball."
IRS asked, "What do you do with the foreskins?"
The Rabbi responded, "We send them to the IRS and every so often that they send us a little prick like you!"



25-65 This is everything
his is what the top five wise Jews said
Solomon, pointing to the head : This is everything.
Jesus, pointing to the heart : This is everything.
Marx, pointing to the stomach : This is everything.
Freud, pointing to the genitalia : This is everything.
Einstein, pointing from bottom to top, then from top to bottom : Everything is relative!