|43-41 Comrade Imperialists
Brezhnev was thought not to be too bright.
He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts: "Dear Comrade Imperialists,"
The whole hall perked up - "what did he say?"
Brezhnev tried again. "Dear Comrade Imperialists!" Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium - was he trying to call them Imperialists?
Then, an advisor walked over to the podium and pointed to the speech for Brezhnev.
"Oh..." he muttered, and started again: "Dear Comrades,Uhm…. Imperialists are everywhere."
|原稿が "Dear Comrade, Imperialists are everywhere."だったのに、
"Dear Comrade Imperialists "と一気に読んでしまったのです。
|43-42 Do not open trunk
This week the Russian government announced to give all 44 of its Olympic medalists a new Mercedes.
When asked what happened to the athletes who didn't medal, the President Vladimir Putin said, "Do not open trunk."
At a seance Vladimir Putin summoned the spirit of the Russian Tsar Peter the Great.
The Tsar tells him outright: "You are a power-hungry mediocrity! The economy is stagnating, the Russian culture is degrading! You have not one normal ally in Europe!"
And he punches Putin in the face.
Putin interrupts the abuse: "Well, Peter the Great, don't I have some merits?! For example, I do not drink alcohol and do not smoke, I lead a healthy lifestyle."
"And that's also bad!" Peter yells.
Putin is confused. "Why is it? I take care of my health, isn't that good?"
Peter shouts at him, "It's good for you, but bad for Russia. Which dickhead shut the window into Europe I built?"